Gotta (Wake Me When It Is)

I mean, the house is a wreck. Look at it; there's no keeping up with this. Garbage has to go out tonight. Dishes won't clean themselves. These dinosaurs have been covering the coffee table for at least three days now. Haven't dusted or cleaned a toilet in way too long.

The outside is worse. Aside from mowing, having done much of anything out there in at least a month. It's all overgrown. I need to trim the weeds and bushes away from the walk. And I need to dig up the garden. Build that protective thing for my blueberry bushes.

And the grapes. I've got to figure out when the grapes will really be "in season." I don't know a thing about grapes and I was supposed to figure this out last year but screwed off until it was too late.

Gotta reschedule that dentist appointment, I'll be out of town for that.

Speaking of which, gotta call Farm Sanctuary and make sure everything is set for my long weekend.

Gotta wrap Molly's wedding present. Get a card, too. Need a card.

Todd's birthday is next week, need to figure out what we're doing exactly. And then tell Jen what I want for my birthday dinner.

Work has been crazy. Too much going on. Budget cuts. Our first lay-offs in just about forever. Gotta pull things together there, submit my voc redesign. That'll help.

And figure out why I'm not losing weight as fast as I thought. I mean, I'm eating healthy and exercising like crazy. Is it the salad dressing? Am I eating too much salad dressing? Maybe if I cut out dressings and oils for a week I'd see a difference.

That'd help save a few bucks too. I really have got to come up with a better budget and really stick to it.

And we need to eat more meals as a family. I mean, we're always around the table together, but we're always eating three different things. I gotta dig through some recipes, make a list of what we all like (or at least the grown ups among us like), and then we can plan meals in advance, do some shopping.

And what about raw? I'm hearing a lot of good things about switching to a primarily raw diet. I definitely should put more raw foods into my diet. I'll have to find some recipes.

And maybe get a juicer. Those fresh green juices are supposed to be amazing.

And at my next doctor's appointment, I should bring up that whole vitamin therapy thing.

And I've got to get to the farmers' market in Oneida on Thursday. There won't be many other chances this season.

And can tomatoes. I promised myself I'd can tomatoes again this year. Running out of time here.

But Saturday has to be apple picking. Pick apples, then make a couple of pies to freeze. And some applesauce. And then just some to have on hand.

Gotta see Jimmy on Saturday too. I like this whole Big Brothers Big Sisters thing a whole lot, but I have to make sure I'm giving it enough time. I feel like I'm already falling a little behind. I'll have to take him to the MOST.

Not fair to Sam, though. I mean, shouldn't I take Sam to that dinosaur thing at the MOST on Saturday? Gotta find out how long that's running and how late they're open and get in there with him soon.

And schedule a date night. Maybe an overnight somewhere for Sam. We could use the relaxation. The romance, even. Gotta call before my mom has that surgery, because then we'll be seriously short on babysitters.

Which reminds me, I really have to get that room ready for my mother if she's going to be staying here. And if I'm going to do that, I might as well do the garage at the same time, make it easier.

Wear can I get sweatshop-free running shorts? Having no luck with that.

And I really have to figure out what I'm going to do about swimming. I need lessons. Or just some time at the YMCA pool when it's not crowded. 5:30 a.m.? I'm not the swimmer I used to be, no way I'm doing a triathlon next summer if I don't get cracking at that.

And I should start shopping for a bike. Spin class starts tomorrow night. I blew it off last week, really need to be there.

All of which makes me feel kind of crummy about ditching yoga and the Zen Center. Haven't been to a yoga class in months and haven't been real consistent with the Zen Center. At least I'm keeping up the practices at home. But that's sort of half-assed and rushed, isn't it? Gotta really give myself to it.

I forgot to take the garbage out. Shit!

This running book is wicked long. So is The Dragon Reborn. I'm stuck in the midst of two really long books. Gotta get cracking on both of those or I'm never going to get to the others on the list. There are 115 books on the shelf in this house that I really want to read soon, not to mention another 50 or so that I'd like to re-read.

Haven't even cracked open the latest issue of Tricycle, and I got that, what, three weeks ago?

Or those Lone Wolf books. 15 of them. And all those Grail Quest and whatnot. Got on this kick on how I was going to collect and read all those fun role-playing books I read as a kid, now they're collecting dust. Gotta find the time for that. That and the NetFlix queue. That's embarrassingly long.

Haven't written that review of Sober Living For the Revolution. Don't post on the blog nearly enough, not to mention all the short stories and magazine pieces I haven't followed up on. Wasn't I going to set up some sort of schedule for that? Gonna have to think that through, find some time.

Maybe if I just picked up my guitar more often I'd be more relaxed. Playing always gets the tension out.

Should I talk to Harry and set up another round of Voluntary Simplicity courses? Or should I offer those at work? We could give Wellness Points.

Don't forget to order those Rob Bell tickets. Soon. Before they sell out.

Pick out a new chapter book to read with Sam. Those Geronimo Stilton books have been working out pretty well.

Fuck, how did I get this way?

How did I get to be Gotta Guy?

How did I gotta the hell out of even the good stuff?

I mean, seriously, what the hell?

Why can't I be more like Pinto.

He wakes up, stretches, pokes his head around the corner.

"Is it time for dinner yet?"

I shake my head.

"Fuck it," he says. "I'm going back to sleep. Wake me when it is."

Little bastard is a genius. A light-hearted genius.

Here I am, the "master," I'm worried about my goddamn NetFlix queue.

When the hell did I make that wrong turn, and how do I get back on track?